“you two are adorably and sickeningly cute.”
A woman told Rory and I this in Brisbane (Queensland, Australia). We were sitting together outside, legs crossed, knees touching. We had just completed short jobs as shop assistants. He had welded together tables, I had rewritten part of the code that kept shop records so that their system didn’t crash so often.
We were enjoying a rather rare moment to stop and just enjoy each other’s company, which was a little ironic considering we had been by each other’s side every day for nearly five months. He was rubbing aloe on my hand, where I had accidentally brushed it against a hot stove earlier that day. I was leaning against him, eyes closed, breathing him in. We tend to ruin romantic moments by saying goofy things (i.e. the first night we spent together, I said “I hope you don’t mind that I’m a dude.” He responded with, “that’s okay, according to my wife it’s not cheating unless it’s with a girl.”), so when we don’t make a joke, it’s usually because of something serious that happened.
We’ve already had our share of small arguments, mostly over the safety of the other person. He wasn’t particularly thrilled about the prospect of us going to South America and having separate jobs. We had already been mugged once, at gunpoint, and his quick thinking and talking had saved us (sorry Paige and mom, I left that out in my phone calls). He’s always worried about me being out alone, since I’m so small and sometimes mistaken for a tall child. I don’t like when he compromises his safety for mine, or picks up slack because he thinks something is too dangerous for me. I don’t like feeling incapable of taking care of myself, although this stubbornness is sometimes quite foolish.
The night before, we had argued again about South America. The morning after, he made me breakfast in bed. We lay together for a while, wordlessly feeding each other fruit. He was the first to break the awkward silence. He said, and I’ll never forget this, “I do and say stupid things because I worry. I worry because until you, I lived in my own world, going through the motions and just filling time. I think I would have done this forever, but now I’m more than halfway around the world, actually experiencing life on an amazing planet after viewing it as a mere rock for a quarter of a century. I’m in love with you, and I would rather you left me than have you hurt, or worse, if there’s even the slightest chance I can keep you safe.”
I thought about this for the entire day. When we saw each other again at a cafe, he had a bottle of aloe for my hand. There were no chairs available, so we sat on the ground outside, legs crossed, knees touching. I thought about this single small act, then my mind branched out to the many other things he had done for me, small and big. The way he wakes up early every morning to shut off the alarm so he can wake me gently with snuggles and the day he saved my life. In that moment, I knew I felt the same way he did.
The woman walked by, remarked how adorably and sickeningly cute we were. I opened my eyes, but didn’t look at her. When I looked up, he was looking at me too. I smiled and said, “I’m in love with you too.” For a moment, he looked at me in a way I had never seen before, ever. Then his face relaxed, he grinned and said, “so…would this be a bad time to tell you I’m gay?”







