Actually, I’m paid to blog nearly every work day, I generally just don’t blog.

I’ve been working at the same place for three years, since the summer after I graduated from high school. It’s pretty easy work, four ten hour shifts of bookkeeping, accounting, passing notes and goofing around. The atmosphere is like a real life version of the US Office, except my boss is bearable and we have ridiculous amounts of chocolate in the break room, usually in the form of random cake or cookies. I’ve made some really good friends here, whom I hang out with after work is over. I’ve become the office Pam, as in I’ve been here for what seems forever in the same job.

My boss keeps telling me lately that she wants to promote me, but we’re both unsure as to what. I don’t want to manage, and I don’t want a more demanding or challenging job. My life gets hectic enough with school and trying to maintain life. On top of that I’m only 19 years old, and I have plenty of time to climb corporate ladders and figure out career paths after college. It does point out though, that I’m generally unsure as to what I want to do with my life. I’m afraid that I’ll feel lost after college, and I’ll end up in a meaningless job, squandering all of my so-called potential. I feel strange enough in the position I am in, and I’m told so often that I should do something amazing with my life that I get mild panic attacks whenever I think about what that entails. I just want to be myself, but it’s very likely that just means I want an excuse to do nothing. When the hell do I get some direction instead of encouragement?